The Ex-Wife
by A.Single.Gal
Summary: Robin and Barney interact around the gang after getting divorced, neither of them is truly over the other. Barney is fully aware of what he wants, and will play every trick under his sleeve to get her back... this by working on a new playbook, one completely devoted to his ex-wife. Swarkles feels to the fullest.
1. The Ex-Wife Play

_**A/N:** Crappy finale aside, this fanfiction will take place somewhere after they confessed their divorce to the gang, ignoring everything that happened after with their storyline. Also throwing Robin into hanging out with them more often than just once every five hundred moons. __Reviews are greatly appreciated and a muse gas to keep going._

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Robin and Barney had divorced many, as he would call it; one night stands ago. However, those one night stands were non-existent. That was a secret between the blond man and the girl he was supposedly taking home any other night. The gang would just roll their eyes at his still ingenuous ways of picking up girls. They would give him a piece of their mind about it, and he would just take a last sip of his Scotch before taking off. Why did they care? He was surrounded by two married couples, both with kids of their own and probably with fifty more on the way. He had nothing but a cold empty loft, a very luxurious and awesome loft that lately felt cold and empty.

He also had a broken heart. His heart had only been broken once before, back when he was in his early twenties and his girl dumped him to be with some suited-up dude. One suited-up dude who was now rotting in jail. That thought always made him smile, just for a second before his brain reminded his heart he was hurting. Every night after ditching the casual random skank, he would go straight home, take his tie off, pour himself a drink, sank on his couch, and wonder.

His mind always wondered to the same two memories. The first one was the happiest moment of his life; marrying the woman of his dreams. That woman whom he knew just liked it dirty. The woman who was a 10, the woman who looked beautiful without any make-up on, the only woman he pictured himself growing old with and banging in every room they set foot at. Then, he wondered to that second moment. That moment when said woman, his woman, asked him if he wanted out. "Self-punch in the nuts…" He groaned tilting his head back onto the couch, regretting taking that exit at the three-year mark.

What was he thinking? He was miserable back then, he barely hung out with his wife and had to watch her pick her career over him over and over again. Was he being selfish when feeling neglected and finally letting the feeling get the best of him? Packing his things after taking on her offer? Was she bluffing, trying to test him and he failed miserably? Many questions of the sort haunted his mind throughout those lonely sleepless nights. His friends thought he was having sex with some chick; but he just sat there thinking of that one girl. The woman that got away.

His new fake life style took a 360 degree turn in twenty-four hours. He was driving in that emotional highway alone, many miles after that exit he regretted taking.

He stepped into the bar the following night, just to realize… an entrance ramp, one he was already preparing himself to take. Robin was back from one of her trips, sitting at their usual booth across from Lily. He smiled to himself. Tonight, he was going home alone, ready to start the first chapter of his new Playbook. He was going to do whatever it took to win his ex-wife back. He knew this by just staring at her, beautiful as always sitting there, looking over and smiling back at him.

Barney went straight to the bar, standing between two beautiful women. Robin looked back over her shoulder ready to see him try score a three-way with them. But it seemed she was the only one who noticed those girls sitting there. One even tried to get his attention, failing miserably.

Barney had his eyes on the bartender, requesting his usual drink. He came back to the table and sat next to Lily. He respected Robin's space, or maybe he just wanted for her to wonder why he wouldn't sit next to her; which worked.

They exchanged a polite greeting. Slowly starting a casual conversation involving some country in Europe, his job, and Lily's kids. It was nice, and it didn't feel awkward, which he thought was a good sign.

In a matter of hours, Ted and Tracy showed up, happy to see their old friend back and ready to fill her in on their life; this story taking more than twice the time Lily and Barney took on getting theirs out there…together.

But, that's what made that couple special, the way they finished each other sentences, using the same tone to tell their friend about what was going on.

"Did you guys rehearse that or something?" Robin chuckled teasing them.

"Well… it is the third time we tell that story." Tracy added with a smile, teasing back.

"Of course it is…" Lily said not amazed whatsoever, the rest of the gang just smiling around.

"So, where is Marshall?" Robin asked, curious as to where the missing man was.

"He just text me a while back, he is on his way from work." She filled the gang up. He had turned to be a busy man now a days. They all had grown so much since that one weekend.

By the end of the night, all six friends said their respective goodnights.

Four of the six had to go home and make sure their kids were in bed.

The other two, just simply weren't ready to sit alone at a bar full of memories. Robin went back to her place, and Barney to his.

That night for a change, he didn´t sit on his couch drowning his sorrows in a glass of Scotch.

He made it home, grabbed a new empty notebook and started his new scheme.

This one would take ten steps, he had to make sure each one was completed successfully before moving onto the next one. There was no rush. He wrote the title for his the next play, and listed those ten crucial steps he needed to complete before calling on victory.

 _Step 1: Get her attention._

 _Step 2: Make her smile._

 _Step 3: List your ex-wife's complaints._

 _Step 4: Succeed on having her flirt back._

 _Step 5: Have a great night alone with her._

 _Step 6: She suggests the two hang out, and actually hang out._

 _Step 7: Re-connect with her._

 _Step 8: Take her on a date._

 _Step 9: Successfully kiss her at the end of said date._

 _Step 10: Win her back._

He called it 'The Ex-Wife'. He lifted the book lightly, so he could read on those steps he had carefully thought through. This one was going to be Legen… wait for it… dary.

Legendary.


	2. Two Players, One Game

Just like her ex-husband, Robin didn't really feel like putting herself out there and start dating again. After all, she didn't get a divorce because she didn't love her husband. She had gotten a divorce because she found herself consumed by her career and that wasn´t fair to the man who was tagging along. She was busy traveling around the globe, and being the reporter and woman she had always dreamed of becoming. She rarely had time for her marriage, let alone date.

After her last trip, she found herself back in New York City, with a two-week window between one trip and the next one. She spent that flight back home thinking about what she would do with that time. She definitely needed those two weeks for herself, maybe try remember how her life was like before that great opportunity came along. A lot of things came to mind as she wondered.

She wanted to relax, have a beer while watching a game on TV, she wanted to hang out with her friends, and she wanted to lift the pressure of being on Live TV from her shoulders; just leaving that baggage on the plane.

After her divorce with Barney, Robin had moved out and gotten a small apartment in Manhattan. Something centric, so she could have anything at her arm's length reach. She had the gang helped her move out, this so it didn´t feel awkward and so she didn't have to face Barney alone.

The only time she met him face to face, without anyone there, was when they signed their divorce papers. They didn´t have a prenupt, and neither of them fought the other for things they didn´t even care about. All Barney cared for was Robin´s happiness, and all Robin cared for was for his happiness.

If ending their marriage would bring them freedom to pursue their career without being held back by a committed relationship, or set them free from being with someone´s shadow; then they would give the other just that. However, they were wrong and as time went by they realized how much the other person gave meaning to their lives.

Robin rested her head against the plane's window as she thought about this. She had more time to travel around without worrying. She had no one waiting for her back at a hotel room or at home.

However, she felt empty and it wasn't as much fun as when Barney was around. She would never admit this to anyone, not even herself. She shook her head realizing she was going to that dark corner in her mind so distracted herself with her drink.

She was also a little nervous, not sure how she would react once she saw him again. They hadn't spoken or seen each other in a very long time. She also was nervous thinking about his reaction. Would he be happy? Would he be indifferent?

She didn't really keep that much contact with the rest of the gang, either. She would occasionally talk over the phone with Lily or text her, but that was it.

Maybe from time to time, she would also e-mail Ted who would soon make her regret it, he would reply with pictures of everything and a long story that could have been told in two sentences.

After a long thoughtful flight, Robin found herself in front of her apartment door. She would always come back home and realize the same thing. The moment she unlocked the door, she always found an empty place with an old couch and an old TV in front of it. That was all there was in that apartment.

She never had time to buy furniture, she never even bothered. She walked over to her bedroom. Her old bed sitting there in the middle of it and a night stand next to it. That was it.

She sighed throwing her luggage over to the side and just went back to the kitchen. She opened the fridge, found a case of beer and a milk carton sitting there; the latter was probably empty.

She decided to pass on that beer and just decided on trying to take a nap. A long nap that turned into going to bed really early that night. She hadn´t really been able to sleep that much in ages and that night wasn't the exception.

She was too tired to even be able to sleep, plus her mind kept her busy thinking all night. It sucked, but she was used to it.

Robin had plans with her old friends for the following night. They all had agreed on meeting at the usual bar. So that afternoon, the brunette had spent five extra minutes over the phone with Lily begging her to meet her there before time. She wanted to be there before Barney even showed up. She didn't know why, she just wanted for him to find her there instead of the other way around.

That night, Lily and Robin met at the bar before anyone else showed up as the red head had promised. It gave the old friends time to talk and catch up.

They were smiling and laughing while having their first drink of the night. The first one to show up was Barney. Robin turned to look over and smiled at him.

For some reason, seeing him for the first time in a long time made her nervous. However, the glass of Scotch she had been sipping on was helping her keep it cool.

Her blue eyes quickly and causally scanned him. That smile, so genuine and warm. She had never seen him smile that way to anyone else but her. This was a little secret of hers; she loved his smile. He always looked elegant and striking in those suits.

She didn't take long staring. She moved her attention back to Lily. Nothing but a polite exchange of smiles had happened in that second between exes.

"I need to win him back." Robin quickly admitted to Lily as she leaned over the table so no one else could hear her. That was the first thought that crossed her mind, and without realizing it she was already spilling it out to her best friend.

"What?" Lily asked very aware of Robin's statement, but not sure her best friend had actually heard herself admitting that.

"You need to help me get him back!" He begged reaching out and grabbing Lily's jacket firmly with her fingers as she bent over across the table. "Sorry." Robin cleared her throat realizing her fingers were holding that jacket tightly: Robin casually let go of her and turned her head over her shoulder. She realized offering that exit from their marriage nonsense had been a huge mistake.

"What?" Lily asked again. Damn, Robin was not making any sense. Lily was kidding herself when thinking the two of them were truly over.

"Never mind..." Robin said disappointed when she saw him by the bar between two girls. All she could see was one of the skanks all over him, thinking Barney was probably playing one of his stupid schemes on both of them.

"What?" Lily repeated herself for the third time. That one hadn't lasted at all. A second ago, the red head could swear Robin was threatening her to have them get back together or one of her children would be missing a toe. And now? It was a never mind? This girl had to get together.

"Ladies…" Barney greeted them as he sat by Lily at their booth. "Robin, it's nice to see you again. You look beautiful as always." He said with a sincere look in his eyes and a polite smile.

Robin followed his steps with her blue eyes and a frown. Why was he sitting next to Lily? Didn't he see her moving over so he could sit next to her? Rude! "Nice to see you too," Robin replied before getting a little sassy, "I see you are still… wearing suits." She added letting her jealousy show there for a moment. Those bitches at the bar had really gotten to her for some reason.

He turned to look at Lily looking for a translation in her face, "She means you look handsome as always." Lily nodded then looked over at Robin.

"Yeah." Robin nodded looking back at Lily, a forced smile in her lips, "That's what I meant." She agreed.

"Huh…" Barney smiled to himself flattered, fixing his jacket owning the compliment.

After slipping the little ex-wife-sassy-observation about his wardrobe off his mind, the blond man casually started to show interest on Robin's many trip experiences.

It was refreshing to see how genuine his concentration on Robin's tales was. It quickly made her take her guard down. And for a moment there, both let go of what it was between them turning the conversation fluent between the three of them.

That night, the gang managed to spend some quality time out drinking just like the old times. For a moment, it felt like no emotional impairment had gotten between them.

That night Robin Scherbatsky went back to her apartment with a light smile in her face and warm hope in her heart. It seemed she truly meant what she had told Lily and would do everything she could to win Barney Stinson back. She had two weeks before her next trip, but this time she was not going to let it get between them. She needed both, Barney and her job, in her life to be ultimately happy.

Now it was just a matter of finding a way to seem available to him but not come across as desperate, as well as finding a way to keep both. She had failed at it once…

… but Robin Scherbatsky didn't fail twice at the same thing.


	3. The Play-off

The gang was hanging out at their usual bar, having a casual lunch together. They were drinking and talking just like the old times. For Barney, it was odd to see six of them at that table. He didn't even know how they fit there. The math had always been simple; Lily and Marshall shared one side of the booth and he would usually sit next to Robin at the other one. Ted would have a spare chair and sit at the side of the table.

Then, after his divorce with Robin and her traveling all the time, he had switched over to the spare chair while Ted and Stacy took the booth. But that night, there were two spare chairs at the table. Tracy and Robin were sharing the booth and he had ended up at one of the spare chairs along with Ted. He had no idea how that made sense. He was sure Robin was the kind of girl who didn't care sitting at one of the chairs. For some reason this was bugging him.

His mind remained distracted over the different ways they could be sitting and manage to end up next to Robin. Different images of these sitting arrangements played in his head while his friends kept talking about something he truly didn't care about. The images changed from Marshall and Lily being the ones sitting on the chairs while he shared one side of the booth with Robin and Ted and Tracy shared the other one. There was another one where Ted and Robin ended at the same side of the booth and he was sharing the other one with Lily, making Marshall and Tracy sitting at the spare chairs. He took a second there, and try look over into Lily´s cleavage but soon realized Ted and Robin were in the same side, so he immediately discarded the option. The last image ended up with Robin sitting on his lap, which made him smile like an idiot without realizing it.

It was the voice of Robin coming from the other side of the table what brought him back to reality. "You haven't bought furniture for your place?" He asked making sure he had heard that last sentence correctly, after all he hadn't paid attention to anything that had been said before that.

Robin nodded her head in affirmation and then their casual conversation continued. Barney blanking out of it as he got distracted with something else. This was a great opportunity to have that brunette´s attention on him. He swiftly started to build up a quick play, a side-play, in his head. He soon realized his side-play was built-up in one lie after the other and that was no good. He had after all vowed to Robin he will always be honest to her, even after their divorce. Just like he still loved her, he still felt his vow to be true for eternity.

That night, Barney had everything planned out. He had spent all day and afternoon running around Manhattan and sneaking around without getting caught.

The gang reunited at the bar early that evening. They were giving ideas as to what to do for the night, taking advantage both sets of parents had scored a good nanny for the night. Barney suggested one thing aimed especially to one person in the gang.

"What would you say if I told you that I can have you guys live a Hockey… wait for it… Playoffs? Hokey Playoffs" He grinned looking at everybody but the one person who was all over the idea. This question opened the first side-play on his new Play Book. He had carefully made sure nothing in the whole side-play within his main play was a lie. He called it the _4-Point Game_ ; a Jockey Term. It was very figurative as to what he had in mind for the evening. The objective of said side-play wasn't to have Robin have sex with him. This one was to accomplish the first step of his ultimate goal.

The gang agreed on carrying on with his suggestion. Robin was thrilled about it, after all, she was the only one in the gang who enjoyed hockey. Marshall and Ted figured they shouldn't let six tickets go to waste, a comment Barney pretended he didn't listen after all it couldn't be a lie if he didn't agree or disagree. As to Lily and Tracy, they were easily in as well.

After walking out of the bar, Barney flagged a cab. They all were happy to see Ranjit driving.

He opened the passenger's door for Robin and slid behind her. The other four had to share the back seat.

"You know where to." Barney stated as Ranjit took off.

The gang was too distracted trying not to sit their ass on someone else as they had barely fit in the back seat.

Robin looked around wondering what route their old acquaintance was taking to the stadium. She quickly recognized the outside of her building. She was the first one to step out of the cab, knowing that blond clown owed her an explanation.

"What are we doing here, Barney?" She asked folding her arms across her chest.

"Just wait for it." He smiled fixing his jacket.

It was an amusing view to see the other four adults come out of the back seat of the cab. It felt like a never ending line of adults was struggling to get out from that car.

"I don't want to wait for it." She shrugged her shoulders and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Fine. Then, would you please lead the way to your apartment?" He asked keeping his cool and pointing over to the building.

Robin sighed upset as she let them into the lobby and led the way up in the elevator. The rest of the gang wondering if she had to change clothes or something.

She stood there in front of her door and curved an eyebrow, waiting for Barney's next move.

"Would you please open the door?" Barney asked politely looking right into her eyes with a smile on his face.

She tilted her head. It had been a while since they got divorced, but that didn't mean Robin didn't know her ex-husband. "I swear to god, if you tricked me into something…" She couldn't help but smile lightly, "I'm going to kill you with my own hockey stick." She threaten.

"Wait... we are not going to go to a hockey game?" Tracy asked a little disappointed. Maybe a hockey game wasn't her first option when it came to sports, but she went along with people pretty well and had already gotten herself excited about the whole thing.

"I never said I would take /you/…guys to watch the playoffs." Barney did look straight into Robin's eyes when saying that one pronoun, and then looked around to include the rest of the gang.

Robin opened the door of her apartment to find it looking like a lockers room out of a hockey match. There were decorations from the NHL everywhere, including six hockey jerseys hanging from a rack. There was also a very sophisticated NHL Elite Rod Hockey Table in the middle of that empty living room.

"This is awesome!" Ted and Marshall agreed with a high-five.

"You are having us live a playoffs game." Robin smiled lightly recalling his words. They were going to play table jockey, which she had to admit was awesome.

Barney nodded at her, glad Robin didn't look upset anymore.

The gang got into her place and they each found their respective jersey. Also in the room was a chalk board. It was for them to keep score as to who would win.

Barney quickly proceeded on explaining the basic rules. They were going to play in couples. Each couple would play against the other two. The chart showed a little diagram as to how everybody would be getting disqualified.

The first rule was that no real couples could be each other's partner. All three couples ended the following way; Marshall and Robin were a team. Lily and Ted were the second team. Barney and Tracy were the third team.

Of course, Robin and Marshall quickly started to celebrate an early victory.

Meanwhile in his mind, Barney was scratching the first step of his Main-Play as completed: _Step 1 Get her Attention._

As expected, during the night. Ted was the worst player of them all, but the fact that he was paired with Lily helped them advance through the tournament.

Robin apparently could play that game with her eyes blind-folded, which was something they actually tried at some point during the night. She was playing against Ted, with a black blind-fold around her eyes and still managed to kick his ass about 6-0.

Marshall proved to be very good at the game as well. He went from being Vanilla Fudge to have them call him Ice Fudge.

Tracy was surprisingly good as well, and Barney just managed to move along with his partner taking on Ted a few times and for some miracle reason Lily taking on his bribe and letting him win their match.

That meant that by the last round, Lily would play against Marshall, Ted would play against Tracy, and Barney would play against Robin.

The night was going amusingly well, and Barney was proud of that. It really seemed like Robin was having the time of her life, and he hadn't told her she could keep the jockey table, yet.

He had, beforehand, stuffed Robin´s fridge with beer and her cabinets with appetizers like chips and ingredients to make nachos.

Lily and Tracy had taken care of making those exquisite nachos. This back when Ted lost to a girl, a girl who had her eyes blind folded. Food and drinks had helped keep the gang going until there was a winner among the six of them.


	4. Step 1: Get Her Attention

After being in New York City for a couple of days, Robin started wondering if she should get some furniture. She had this struggle every time she was back from a trip. Robin also always draw the same conclusion; she didn't need furniture. After all, she was never home. All she needed was a bed and a couch.

That's how the simple decision of getting furniture or not getting furniture turned into a mini-therapy session between Robin and Lily that morning.

For a moment there, while both ladies shared a cup of coffee on Robin's couch, Lily got very confused not understanding why her best friend was taking the action of buying furniture so serious and saying she couldn't really commit to it due to all her traveling.

There was also a bit about Robin saying she loved furniture but it would probably be happier at someone else's living room since she didn't have time for it.

Lilly was a smart girl, and she quickly picked on the babbling the brunette had going on. She just had to recall something her friend had said a couple of nights ago. That's when the red head, in her head, started to change the word _furniture_ to _Barney_. It all made sense now.

It didn't matter how much Robin loved Barney, she couldn't keep him around unhappy without feeling guilty. She wasn't suffering because she couldn't commit to furniture, she was miserable because she couldn't commit to Barney. She loved her job, and traveling was something she had wanted to do since she could remember.

"Do you think there is a way I can get furniture and travel at the same time?" Robin asked, seeking for hope in her friend´s famous lectures and advises.

"It's just a matter of balance." Lily simply stated. Balance was a very simple word. It meant to be fair to both sides without over doing one side, or giving too much attention to the other.

However, to Robin the word _balance_ came out as an odd Chinese word. She didn't get it, she didn't understand it, and she got confused by it.

"Balance?" She asked a little intrigued. "How can I find balance between having the perfect Rela-living room…," She nodded after correcting herself, "and keep traveling for work?"

Her husband had been traveling along her side for those three-years of their marriage, distance wasn't clearly the problem. The issue was that even though he was there for her, she wasn't there for him. At least that's how she saw it. She knew she had screwed up big time.

Lily didn't know if it was in her position to butt in, but never really cared. This woman had started talking about committing to furniture and was asking for advice so she was going to give it.

It was very simple, it just required for both ends to be in it completely. And that was the problem, it wasn't fair to ask Barney -or as Robin was putting it "her furniture", to travel around putting his life on pause for her. Commitment meant sacrifice from both ends and he had already done that for her.

After a meaningful two-hour session about compromise and furniture, Lily convinced Robin to go out and buy a nice center table so they could set their coffee cups there while talking. This saving them from burning their laps as they held them hot against their skin.

"And don't worry, you can start with something casual like a center table." Lily used their shopping plans to emphasize on what really was bugging Robin, "then in two weeks it'd be cool to leave it here in NYC, and you can make sure you are always in touch with it while you are gone." She smiled, "maybe if it works out, once you are back you can get something else." She smiled lightly.

Robin nodded calmly with a smile. She liked that thought. She could always just get "casual" with Barney and try make "casual" work while she was gone and see how things were once she came back.

She just had to figure out a way to have him notice her and want to hang out with her.

She didn't know they both were about to start playing the same game. She had a goal for the time being; get his attention. If she managed to do that, then she could get a second step and go forward.

She knew one thing, she needed to stick around Barney and get him to notice her. But again, she kept reminding herself not to come out too desperate making it too obvious.

That afternoon, Robin and Lily met the gang at their bar ready to share lunch. Marshall was already there at their regular booth, so Lily sat next to him.

Ted and Barney were at the bar getting their drinks and some appetizers.

Tracy slid into the other side of the booth. Robin figured that meant Ted would sit there, and she could be all "casual" with Barney at the chairs.

Except, Ted had to put on his gentleman outfit and offer Robin his seat. She rejected the place three times.

Ted kept insisting and she had to give up before sounding like she didn't want to sit next to Tracy, which she didn't mind at all; she just wanted to hang out with Barney at the spare chairs.

Five out of the six friends engaged in a conversation, it seemed Marvin and Penny had been bonding lately. The Eriksen boy a few years older than the Mosby girl, but still it seemed all four parents were thrilled at how they had spent all day playing.

This ended up with Tracy telling a story of how Ted and Marshall played some thing or the other back in collage. That's how well she knew those stories; she could tell them herself as if she had lived them.

Robin wasn't really paying attention anymore. She did take a second to be amazed at how well Tracy knew that story. But, someone else was being more amusing than that story.

"Oh I know that smile…" Robin admired out loud with a nod. "He is either picturing Lily's boobs or some chick on his lap." She called about Barney's grin.

That's when Lily noticed Robin was lingering too long on Barney and decided to take the conversation over to her. She mentioned the whole furniture thing to the gang, this making her casually state she had nothing but an old couch, a TV, and her bed.

"Did you guys find something?" Marshall asked casually, already aware of the center table shopping they had going on.

"Awe, you two still share a brain and sometimes a vagina..?" Robin said sarcastically with a charming tone thinking he already knew she was dying to get back with Barney.

"No. The only table that seemed to like was a Jockey Table." Lily rolled her eyes. That's the moment when they lost Barney again. "But the day is not over yet."

"All I'm saying is that every girl needs one of those, am I right?" Robin asked Tracy hopping for approval.

"Not this girl." Tracy curved a smile apologetically, "But this girl definitely!" She added pointing at Robin, trying to side with her for a second there.

That evening, Robin and Lily made it back to the bar. They had failed on their center table hunting. It didn't matter how cool or classy the tables they had seen were, Robin couldn't make up her mind on getting one.

The gang was settling on finding something to do that night. The first one to suggest something was Ted, but no one let him finished his suggestion after the word MET came out.

"You can only fool us with that one once." The gang agreed, that boring museum was no baseball game.

Tracy also suggested something of the like, which just made the rest of the gang think they were cute for thinking boring together.

Marshall and Lily figured they should just settle on staying there as they always did since no one could come up with something awesome to do.

Robin had enough of proposals after hearing the words _Hockey_ and _Playoffs_ in Barney's suggestion. She was thrilled and immediately thinking on ways to convince the rest of the gang to go along with that one.

They didn't need much convincing though, after all it sounded better than just staying there at the bar as usual.

"You do have tickets, though?" Ted asked Barney after noticing his silence, "SIX tickets, as in one for each one of us?" He added.

"All six of us will experience a live playoff." He agreed. He was trying very hard to find the right choice of words, he had promised himself not to lie after all.

Robin just got more excited as she kept hearing those three words. "Let's go!" She demanded with excitement, grabbing the edge of Barney's sleeve and pulling him out of the bar with her.

Once the taxi pulled over, Robin immediately called Barney as her taxi buddy and asked him to slide into the passenger's seat with her. She greeted who seemed to be their personal driver and filled him up about their exciting plans.

For about five minutes, Robin kept asking Barney questions. They were all related to the plans she had figured were accurate after he said those two words. Each question was answered with the same three words.

"Wait for it." Barney kept answering to all her questions, he did it in a way that only got her thinking this was more legendary than she thought and got more excited.

The way he was smiling back made her get her hopes high. He was really meaning for her to be this happy, so she never thought of disappointment.

At least not until she realized the man was not driving through the usual route. Her growing fear became anger once she saw her building through the window. Barney was dead meat.

In a matter of minutes, Barney Stinson made things look better than she expected them to be. There was a hockey table in the middle of her living room, and the idea of having a playoff with her closest friends was actually pretty awesome.

The five of them heard Barney explain his charts and everything that he had going on. Even though she had been hung-up on him all day, it was until that next minute when he actually made it count that he, Barney Stinson, had Robin's attention.

"I'm pairing with you!" She quickly called dibs on him the moment she heard they will be making couples to play. That blond man officially had Robin Scherbatsky´s attention.

Paring with Marshall would have been her second option, or really first one if she wasn't looking to get back together with Barney. So she was okay with that one.

Barney and Robin were to compete soon, their teams were tied. Marshall had kicked Lily's ass and he wasn't even sorry for that. Tracy had also slayed Ted and he was now sobbing in a corner.

"Did I tell you…" Barney wondered as Marshall got Robin ready for the match. He was talking to her like a real coach would. "The winner between this match gets the table." The man in a suit announced.

That meant either Barney kept the table or she did. The whole thing was arranged from the start after studying each people's profile, all he had to do was find a way to have Lily let him win their match and then he would easily be in the finale against Robin -who was a no brainer in it.

How he easily convinced Lily to let him win aside, he was now getting ready to watch  
Robin be the happiest he had seen her be in a long time.

He wasn't even going to cheat. He just knew she would beat anyone in that group easily, so the table was already hers. He just for some reason wanted her to take it from him.

He gave his best game into that match, and it was hard for her to beat him. But by the moment the table timer announced the time was up, she was beating him by three points.

That awesome and very expensive hockey table was now hers, and not only that, but as she had set as a goal earlier; Robin had Barney´s attention.

He had heard she wanted that table. He didn't go do the impossible to get it for her. Instead, he did it his way. He broke into her apartment and made a whole event out of getting her that table. He made her have fun as she test run the table for the first time with her friends.

Unconsciously, Robin met him half way into having her attention on him.

For Barney it seemed getting her attention had been an easy task, too easy. He smiled at her thinking of this while Robin smiled back wondering the same.


	5. Challenge Accepted

Barney and Robin found themselves sitting across from each other at a booth in a local diner. The brunette kept her blue eyes on Barney's. She had her arms crossed over the table and her concentration was set strictly on him. Nothing could steal her attention. She had a serious stare and her lips were closed.

The blond man had his hands on his lap and his eyes on hers. He was struggling hard not to let himself loose in them. It wasn't an easy task. Robin had the most amazing pair of eyes. But he had to do this, he had to keep it together and just look into them superficially. He kept rubbing his lap lightly trying to keep himself distracted there and not move.

"Sorry we are late." Lily and Marshall excused themselves. "One of our kids had an incident..." She filled them in, the word _kids_ in a tone hinting it really wasn't about Marvin or Daisy.

Neither Robin nor Barney moved or said a word.

"By 'kid' she means Mickey." Marshall added wondering why neither of the other two was showing a reaction, "and by 'incident' she means he pooped his pants." He added, hoping this will make them laugh or say something about it.

But neither Robin nor Barney blinked. Their eyes were still on each other. They weren't moving, just staring.

"Okay... Then, thank you for understanding." Lily offered taking seat next to Robin and Marshall sat next to Barney.

All six friends had made plans on having breakfast together. They were now waiting for Ted and Tracy who were also running late.

Lily and Marshall quickly realized Robin and Barney had engaged in a stare-down face-off. They immediately tried to sabotage the whole thing.

About fifteen minutes went by, neither Barney nor Robin had yet flinched. Ted and Tracy made it to the diner finding Robin with little napkin balls all over her hair and Barney with lipstick and eyelash on.

"Do we want to know?" Ted asked as he helped his wife out of her coat and pulled a chair over for her. The scene looked so intriguing he figured they could get along with being late without an explanation.

"Robin and Barney have a stare-down going on." Marshall announced.

"Bets are 4/1 Robin wins." Lily filled them in. "You want in; it's twenty bucks." She pulled out a plastic can with a lot of twenties in it.

Ted and Tracy shrugged and each took a twenty placing their bets. "I'm betting on Barney." Tracy added, going against the odds was fun. Plus, he looked very concentrated.

"How about you?" Lily asked Ted as she also took a pad out. She had a long list of people there. She wrote Tracy's name there and recorded her bet for Barney.

"I'll bet safe. Put me down for Robin." He nodded and adjusted on his seat before taking the menu up so he could figure out what he wanted to eat.

Lily and Marshall had already figured out what they wanted so were waiting for The Mosby couple to decide.

The waitress soon approached their table and taking their order she asked an update on the face-off. The table by the door wanted to know how they were doing on their bet.

"It's pretty even." Marshall filled her in. "I think it's time to spike things a bit." He figured.

He grabbed his glass of cold water and slowly set it against Barney's crutch. At the same time, Lily started to drop ice cubes down Robin's cleavage.

Both contenders shown signs of fighting really hard not to move. Those ice cubes were really cold against Robin's skin, not to mention that iced glass was numbing Barney's balls.

Marshall slowly rubbed the glass against Barney who slowly closed his legs trying to take the glass away without moving the upper side of his body.

Robin quickly got used to the cold ice melting in her skin, after all she was Canadian. Barney was in a real struggle, though.

The waiter was back soon with the table's order. She only had four breakfast plates with her, after all, the other two hadn't been able to order anything unable to talk during their face-off.

The waiter bent down slowly, she was practically invading Barney's personal space, her cleavage almost at his eyes' sight. He gulped lightly trying to focus on his aim rather than the distraction brushing against him.

Robin started to build a little possessive and jealous as she had a front row seat to that waitress rubbing her boobs at her ex-husband.

The whole thing was too cliché, even for them. She took an inner deep breath before witnessing the incompetent blonde waitress knock a glass of water on Barney's lap. She kept her stare-down, but she had her eyes on the waiter. She was dead.

"This is cheating!" She called out when the woman fetched for a napkin ready to be all over Barnacle Jr. Robin soon noticed she was acting out of jealousy/possession and corrected herself, "I mean, it's not fair for Barney to have that... Who-oman all over him."

"Pay up!" Tracy quickly asked for her money being the first one to call the match over and declaring Barney the winner.

"Wait... no! The stare-down isn't-"Robin was interrupted.

"Ha! You lost!" Barney started celebrating.

The few people who had bet for him gathered around the table and got their hundred bucks. It was then when he ordered his breakfast.

"I'll have the champions' breakfast, please." He said with pride smiling at Robin, who didn't seem so amused. "A cup of coffee." He declared the champion's breakfast to be "And some toast."

"And you, miss?" The waitress asked for the brunette's order.

"I want a re-match!" She demanded, looking into Barney's eyes. "I'll have the three egg omelet, bacon, hash brow, and pancakes." She gave the waitress her order.

"What if the two of you agreed to a set of challenges, the one who completes the most challenges wins?" Marshall suggested.

"We, of course, can set a few ground rules." Lily added with a nod, liking the idea.

"You both have to go through a different challenge, but equal in the level of difficulty." Marshall continued as he looked over to Lily.

"First ground rule; you need to keep my job out of it." Robin immediately demanded, last time she had been doing a series of challenges, Barney had her do a lot of embarrassing things on TV.

"I shall be the one setting the challenges." Marshall stepped in again. It was only fair for both contenders.

"Challenge Accepted." Barney agreed with having Marshall challenge them. That way both could complete their challenges at the same time, and he would spend that time with Robin; like that time he had that list from Ted with things they were too old to do.

"This is on…" Lily nodded, "Shake on it." She pointed out at both Robin and Barney.

Both contenders shook on it and got ready for their set of challenges. "You must complete all by eight this evening, since we promised Marvin we would watch Finding Nemo with him. Again." The tall man added.

"Alright. Whatever." Robin agreed with that one last ground rule.

"Set your bets here. We are starting at 4/6." Lily shouted. There was a higher possibility of a tie in here. It was their territory after all. She did think of keeping the bets going higher throughout the day. "Fifty bucks and you are in!" She kept shouting.

"Okay. First challenge…" Marshall took a moment to think about it.

Barney and Robin were in a pre-challenge stare-down of their own.

"Barney; you shall wear your underwear over your pants for the next three hours." Marshall dictated.

"Pffff… done." He rolled his eyes.

"…And!" Marshall was not finished, "Every time someone stares, you have to explain you wet them and you are waiting for them to dry."

Robin started laughing, picturing it already.

"And you missy…" Marshall looked over, "hand me those shoes you are wearing." He requested motioning with his fingers.

"My shoes, why?" She pouted.

"You have to be walking by Barney making sure he wears those wet briefs over his pants… barefoot." He added.

Barney was the one laughing now.

"When people stare, you'd have to tell them you are tanning your feet." He added.

"Who tans their feet?!" She asked exasperated.

"Today, you do." Barney kept laughing.

"Or that you forgot to put shoes on before leaving home." Marshall shrugged. "You can alter from one to the other." He left it at her creativity.

"Okay, crazy boys…" Lily said as she counted the money from all those bets. "New York City is waiting for you. Go!" She gave the green light.

Barney looked over to the restroom and back at Marshall. He took about two minutes looking back and forth after finally standing up and walking to the restroom.

About five minutes later, he was back with his white briefs over his dark gray pants. Marshall was already in possession of Robin's shoes.

"I wet my underwear and took them out to dry…" Barney explained unamused to the old lady sitting at the table next to theirs.

The gang laughed and Tracy shot a photo from her cellphone of him dressed like that.

"Ms. Crazy-barefoot-lady…" Barney said lightly offering his hand so Robin could stand up, "Ready to spend this sunny day in Manhattan with Super-Briefs." He said lightly.

Robin nodded softly and took his hand, "Let's do this." She smiled at him and walked out of the diner from his arm.

Everybody in that diner stared at the odd couple as they left.

After three hours of walking around Manhattan without shoes, Robin was starting to feel her feet hating her. Barney hadn't feel more humiliated in his life; yet.

However, the two contenders made it to the bar laughing. They had agreed on meeting the gang there.

The rest of the team looked confused. Have they actually enjoyed making a fool of themselves?

They both sat next to each other at their usual booth, and turned to look at Marshall.

He had some spies around the city following them and was waiting for a few text messages to be sent so he could make his decision as to who won the first round.

"Seeing how someone got Robin a pair of shoes out of pity... She wins." Marshall stated after receiving a text message.

"Robin 1 – Barney 1." Lily wrote down on her betting pad. "Odds are starting to look up in Robin´s favor. 1 to 4 bets. Place your bet now!" She shout having some of the same people that had followed them from the diner come over. Some others were new and had found out about the challenges at the bar.

"Next challenge…" Marshall thought about it for a moment.

Meanwhile, Barney had stood up and headed to the restroom to change and actually dress accordingly. Robin had also get her original pair of shoes back.

"Robin, you have to stop strangers and offer a kiss for a dollar." He filled them out on the second challenge. "The kiss can be anywhere you want."

Robin nodded to it, taking on the challenge. On paper, it looked easier than just walk around barefoot.

"And Barney, you will do the same, but offering them the chance to slap you." Marshall said about the next task. The first one to get twenty bucks, wins." He smiled.

Barney and Robin smiled at each other. This was a piece of cake.

"Here are your respective labels." Ted smiled handing them these two large tags he had made for both of them. _A dollar for a kiss_ and _A dollar for a slap_. "You are not allowed to talk to the interested." He added for Marshall.

Tracy handed them over a bucket each to keep their dollars.

Robin and Barney both hung the label from their neck and stepped out of the bar, ready to race the other for those twenty bucks.

That afternoon after lunch, both contenders made it back to the bar. They handed over their respective bucket. Tracy was the official in charge of counting the money. She started with Barney's. She then counted Robin's.

"Robin wins for one dollar." She announced the winner.

Robin and Barney shared a flirtful smile between them, neither of them really celebrating her victory.

"There is more than twenty bucks here for each." Ted noticed the mountain of singles they had taken out of both buckets.

"We made the twenty dollars in less than fifteen minutes, so we just kept going." They filled the rest of the gang up.

"Third and last challenge." Marshall announced. They soon would have to get dinner since the Eriksons had a movie night with their son.

Barney got up from his seat and went to the bar get a drink for himself and one for Robin. He smiled over at her and she smiled back thanking him for the drink.

"You would have to channel a celebrity breakdown." He announced with a smile.

"Dibs on Britney!" Both said at the same time. "Awweeeee." They added realizing they had picked the same celebrity.

"You can have Britney." Robin easily and tenderly let Barney get that one.

"Try stay out of jail!" Lily called out as both the blond man and the brunette woman headed out of the bar.

"I need an umbrella." Barney figured as they stepped out.


End file.
